Author Nicole J Soule shares her book Fade Out Of Sadness
Nicole J Soule, born Jennifer Irving, is a Detroit author who shares her story of overcoming anxiety and depression in her new book Fade Out Of Sadness. Nicole began her writing career as a freelance journalist while in-between jobs and after finding a note from her middle school self was reminded of who she always wanted to be - a writer. She began work on a novel but a tragic event caused her to shift focus and share her story in Fade Out Of Sadness.
Nicole J Soule
Why did you decide to write Fade Out Of Sadness?
During my most depressive years, I was so afraid to tell anyone close to me. There was always an urge to tell my story, but every time I tried to write a blog post I could never find the right words. I felt as though I would be exposing my deepest thoughts and that people did not want to know those details. While coasting in happiness post-depression, I received a call that someone I knew committed suicide. I was devastated. It was that very moment I decided to write a book for my friends and family. I wanted them to know how to help themselves in case they ended up in a mental state they could not explain. That idea eventually evolved to reach out to everyone across the world.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Publishing a book and speaking your truth is very powerful but I can imagine it is also very scary. Were there moments when you doubted yourself?
This book was a journey to write. In order to accurately capture my stories, I had to go back to the mental space from years ago. It was tough. I cried some days. I stepped away from the book for weeks at a time afraid of what I had written. There was a point I no longer wanted to write the book because I thought people would hate it and that I would be exposed.
Despite the doubt, I pushed through. I told myself that I would never know if I helped someone if I didn’t finished it. I felt as though the idea of the book was a gift from the universe and that there was indeed a space in the world for it. So, I pushed myself to sleepless nights and emotional days. After it was done, I felt a huge weight removed.
In the book you talk about how depression has reoccurred in your life several times. Are there times now when you can feel it creeping in and if so what do you do to keep it at bay?
Yes. There are times when I feel the weight slowly piling on my shoulders. When this happens, I analyze everything that is happening at that current moment and try to find the reason for such feelings. Once I identify the reason, I face it head on and deal with it.
What advice would you give someone who is considering writing a book?
Keep going. The hardest part is finishing the book. There will be doubt and fear. There will be days where you reread your words for the 100th time and hate it. You’ll want to throw the whole idea away and find something else to do. That is when you must step away from the book for a few days or a week. When you go back to it, you’ll remember why you started it. It doesn’t matter if it takes you one year or 10 years to finish it, as long as you keep going you will be rewarded.
Lessons learned – is there anything you would do differently?
This was the first time I took on a project this big alone. While there are many lessons I learned throughout the process, the biggest takeaway was simply accomplishment. One day I started a book, spent weeks researching, worked with an editor and finally completed the book. To feel and see that journey lifted me in ways I’ve never experienced.
Ideally, I would have liked to not work a full-time job while writing. The stress of work killed my creativity many times and resulted in weeks of disappoint in myself because I couldn’t get one paragraph done. However, it also provided a structured schedule for me to focus on writing because there are only 24 hours in a day. :-)
The book is absolutely beautiful and inspirational. It is also very personal and I can understand why you had moments of doubt. Persevering past that doubt is something you can be truly proud of! So, what’s next? In Fade Out Of Sadness you mention that you were originally writing a different book. Will we able to read that soon?
Thank you so much! Well, my first priority is to deliver a healthy baby come September. :-) I have a few projects in the works on mental health and a few fictional short stories. Stay tuned to my website for updated information on my new projects.
Thank you Nicole for sharing your story with us!